little girl BIG VOICE

I blame Drew’s cancer:

For hungry people in a world with plenty of food for all

For women still not being paid an equal wage to men in the so-called best country in the whole damn world

For Toby Keith, ignorance, and over-zealous fear-mongering

For Homelessness

For corporate corruption + executives that don’t respect the infantry (or the middle class)

For Monsanto + Cargill

For racism

For global warming + its consequences

For Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson, Mylie Cyrus and any other crappy pop celebrity who makes men expect women to be drama queens + selfish Barbie dolls with no brains

For Aids

For Hitler

For Mao, Stalin, Kim Jong-Il and every insecure dictator who feels the need to oppress millions to support his (their are no hers that I can think of…yet) own ego

For drug wars and unfair trade

For rape and genocide

For people who think they’re better than you (they’re not)

For Fox News

And Glenn Beck. And Nancy Grace too.

For deforestation and desertification

For Tiger Woods , Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan—plus any other big shot who think fame entitles them to cheat on a woman and have it be OK

For really bad car dealership commercials and really bad drivers

For every incredible book that Hollywood ruined with a mediocre movie

For my alarm going off at 7:00am when I’d like it to say 9:00

For my Christmas tree coming down tomorrow and my house no longer smelling like sweet, spicy fir.

Whew! That felt good. Drew, I hope you feel better after that ass-kicking I just unleashed on your cancer. If not, I’m sure I can round up some help and we can give it another go!

If you haven’t checked out Drew Olanoff’s story—it’s incredible. Social media for social good and kicking some cancer bootie at the same time. Please, please, please go visit his site, follow @DrewFromTV and @Livestrong and blame Drew’s Cancer for something on Twitter. Drew Carey is donating $1 Million when @DrewFromTV and @Livestrong collectively reach 1,000,000 followers. And Drew Olanoff (@ThatDrew) is working to donate $1 to Livestrong for every tweet that blames his cancer for something whack as well! We’ve all been touched by this disease somehow and it’s up to us to make a cure happen. Here also is video of Drew Carey + Drew Olanoff on CNN together (evidently you can’t grab the code from a CNN vid to embed—a bit anti-journalistic to me, but whatev! I blame Drew’s cancer for that too!)

P.S. Drew, I totally have a flying monkey! Funniest thing EVER.